No matter what brings you to OneStepataTime.com, Self-Esteem is part of the answer to your questions and your success. So whether you are experiencing persistent anxiety, panic attacks, a phobia, Agoraphobia, intrusive thoughts, obsessive worry or compulsive behaviors, building your self-esteem will be a significant part of taking control of both the symptoms and the sources of those symptoms.

For thirty six years, I have worked with individuals experiencing anxiety disorders and I know when approached in the right manner, many symptoms of anxiety can be very effectively brought under control. The anxiety, no matter how it manifests itself, is there for a reason. We can help you understand why and guide you to take control and offer support as you step through the process.

We offer you a multitude of ways to use our Website and its services depending on your readiness and willingness to take the steps necessary to achieve your goals. If you work hard at this process, there is no way you will unsuccessful. Just being here reading this is a successful step in itself.

Our research has shown two of the most frequent search phrases used by many of you when looking for issues of self-esteem are, "Low Self Esteem Help" and "Help Self Confidence" These two phrases sum it up, don't they?

The cry for low self esteem help comes because self esteem is such an elusive concept. Are we born with self esteem? Do we learn self esteem or self confidence? Low self esteem is so paralyzing, can we actually make changes in our self esteem? Low Self Esteem help is a cry we hear and feel we CAN accomplish if you are ready.

Help self confidence? Obviously, if your self esteem is low your self confidence suffers. That lack of self confidence reduces your motivation to attempt the changes needed to make the difference. Help Self Confidence, absolutely! You can take steps with the right knowledge, guidance and support to significantly help self confidence.

So, what is self esteem?

Self-esteem or self-worth includes a person's subjective appraisal of himself or herself as intrinsically positive or negative to some degree.

Self-esteem involves both self-relevant beliefs (e.g., "I am competent/incompetent or liked/disliked") and associated self-relevant emotions (e.g., Joy/despair, pride/shame. Self esteem also finds expression in behavior (e.g., Being assertive versus withdrawing or avoiding. In addition, self-esteem is sometimes looked upon as an enduring personality characteristic or as a temporary psychological condition. Finally, self-esteem can be specific to a particular dimension or area of your life (e.g., "I believe I am a good writer, and feel proud of that in particular") or global in extent (e.g., "I believe I am a good person, and feel proud of myself in general"). I have known surgeons who are giants in the operating room but cannot look you in the eye in public.

If it ain't broke, don't fix it!

Translation:

Most of us suffer from some lack of self-esteem. Low self -esteem causes us to feel fearful of taking any action to challenge our fears and inner negative thoughts about ourselves and our limitations. Therefore, low self-esteem causes you to be afraid to take action, to change. Even if unhappy, you may feel safe and secure with your way of thinking, feeling or acting. You may be comfortably uncomfortable. Any change could be risky! Low self-esteem weakens us, causing us to doubt our "self" and our ability to make judgments, decisions or changes. The answer to low self- esteem?

1. Be aware of your self-esteem. Become truly aware of your habitual, non-esteeming, sabotaging thoughts, feelings and behavior through reading and workshops. Self esteem is a very popular topic and there are literally thousands upon thousands of books on self esteem. Listen to your self-talk. How often do you put yourself down? If you have a close and trusted friend, ask them to remind you when you are speaking or acting in terms which show your low self-esteem.
2. Self esteem falls prey to old habits that resist being broken. Be prepared to act, to do or behave in ways that are gradually but noticeably contradictory to your habitual, compulsive, non-esteeming ways. You will want to avoid doing what needs to be done. There is that inner voice that wants to protect what self esteem you have by preventing you from taking any action to change your avoidant behavior.
3. Increasing your self esteem requires you to take one step at a time and reward yourself for each step you take. Allow yourself to feel good for every little bit you stretch. DO NOT try to take giant leaps because that will set you up for failure. Every small step you take to approach a situation rather than avoid a situation, or act differently than you normally would is a success. Self esteem will rise when you experience these successes.
4. Working against low self-esteem can be painful. Be prepared, for it takes time and some pain before you feel again. You are working up-hill to change the entrenched way you perceive yourself. Your self-esteem will become revitalized as you see yourself persevere against the pain.
5. Growing in Self Esteem requires SUPPORT. Surround yourself with people who are self-esteeming and who are consciously working to develop higher "Self Esteem". Be among believers and DOERS. We all need support for one another along this personal and vital journey. This is not something you should try to do in isolation. Building self- esteem almost means you must interact with others and fight off your fears of rejection, disapproval and failure.

We take Self esteem very seriously because we know that it lies at the heart of many anxiety, panic, agoraphobic and obsessive compulsive-behavior. I hope you choose to use our site and our newsletters and our Support Groups as tools to build your self esteem.